eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
