You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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