I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
