We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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