yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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