Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So here I am, sexting at work.
We smell like vodka and hangover
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
