You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
