Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
