So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
