A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize