mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
