i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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