Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
