i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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