mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
