Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
