Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
