I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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