Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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