I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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