And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
