Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
