pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
