dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
