He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
