did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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