I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize