Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
