Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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