worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
