brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my phone needs a breathalizer
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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