So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
