jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
