Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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