Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
