It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And then my night got REAL pukey
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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