So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize