Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
