i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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