I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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