hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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