one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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