If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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