he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
