Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
