We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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