I wanna passion pit in your ass
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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