You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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