I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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