at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize