The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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