So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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