i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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