i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
