Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
