That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
