I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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