i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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