my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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