you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize